Solitude is good. Solitude is healthy. Solitude is peaceful.
Solitude for too long can drive me crazy, but with my personality, I don’t usually have to worry about that. I go for months and months surrounded by people, seldom slowing down, seldom smelling the roses, if you will.
Thank God for this snow day. I know He’s using it to bring me back to Him. I had such a wonderful morning in the Lord’s presence. And I feel rejuvenated to face the outside world again.
As we finish our eighth month in the Future Leader program, the person I was on July 1st is in awe of the person I am now. The way that The Father has impacted my heart and my mind for Him is intense, and wonderful. I’m very much overcome with emotion when I think about the fact that God chose me, and that He thinks I’m useful. Because of the amazing leadership in Future Leaders and in my ministry I have been challenged to grow and think differently and pursue so many different ideas. I understand things that I thought I might never understand because God placed people in my life who took the time to guide me, mentor me, and love me.
However, understanding more also reveals how much I still don’t understand. I think the things that we don’t understand are the scariest. So, it’s a good thing that God allows us to pray for understanding. Really, through understanding the scripture, and trusting God, our lives should be devoid of all fear. Except, of course, for the fear of The Lord. We’re supposed to have a healthy fear of Him.
What we’re not supposed to fear, are the exact things I’m fearing right now. Change, the idea of being without Biblical community, and uncertainty. I feel like a senior in college again. Life isn’t mapped out. Nothing is decided. And I feel as if I’m waiting on the Lord to reveal His big, master plan to me. Problem is…He’s probably not going to do that. Okay, He’s definitely not going to do that. He’ll lead me, and expect me to follow, and I’ll do my best in that, but I have to be willing to start before I can see the finish.
What I’m going to have to do is trust that God is in control. He controls everything. Literally. In control of all things good and bad. Good and bad things that are all equally great and for my betterment. Isaiah 44:24 says “I am the LORD, who made all things, who alone stretched out the heavens, who spread out the earth by myself.”
Hey, if God, who did everything ever, is in control of my life, I feel pretty good about that. I have nothing to fear.
Know that you are amazing and created wonderfully and beautifully and value that. And don’t let any stupid, stupid people or insecure people for that matter, tell you any differently.
My job on my set, I believe, is to first just love people and gain that trust with people where they know that I really do love them and care about their well-being, so that when they are running into problems, they will hopefully, at some point, come to me and ask me, ‘What is your peace all about? What is your comfort all about? Where do you get your love? Where do you get your talents?’ And I can turn to them and say without blinking, ‘Jesus Christ.’
I’m back. I have returned. Life is good. I’m feeling great.
In 2011, I graduated from college, moved back to PA, bought my own car, got my first credit card, went on countless interviews, and was finally offered a job.
One week ago, I lived in PA. I had never had a bathroom connected to my bedroom. I had never had a cleaning lady. I hated running. I lived with my mom. I spent a lot of time wishing I was back near DC.
Today, I love in Northern Virginia. I have my own bathroom directly attached to my bedroom while I am living with my super-generous cousins. I found out they have a cleaning lady. That’s new for me. I’m not used to that. The good news is that it forces me to be neat… and it made me actually unpack rather than live out of suitcases for a while.
I also started running on the treadmill once a day. It’s slow going. The hardest part is getting started. The second hardest part is not really being able to see progress from day-to-day.
I love being back in VA. God used the last 8 months to teach me a lot. I had a really emotional time saying goodbye to my mom, which just goes to show how much you start to appreciate something right before you know you wont have it 24/7 anymore.
Speaking up something that’s missing: Sarah Back.
Now that I finally feel like I’m where I’m supposed to be, I can focus on being a better me. I’m not sure why, but I feel like 2012 is going to be a big year for me. And I’m really excited about that.
Also, if you’ve read this far, and we’re friends, and I haven’t seen you since I’ve been back (or I have but you want to hang out more), let’s have a coffee date soon!
Your men love you. If I knew nothing else about you, that would be enough.
Is any pleasure on earth as great as a circle of Christian friends by a good fire?
We’re shipping this autographed “Fired” DVD to somebody tomorrow! That’s right! Tomorrow! REBLOG THIS POST in the next 24 hours (and add your email), and we’ll randomly choose the winner at 1:00pm EST on Tuesday. Just be sure to include your email address so we can contact you.